Your face and the love from the linden trees

I'm sorry I can't be that girl.

Got bronchitis. It sucks.

So anyways, I had a dream the other night, Samhain to be specific. In said dream, I was being woken up by Brit. I tried to say something, but you know how when you've just woken, the words don't always come out? She put her finger on my lips and kissed my nose. I remember feeling really confused but warm at the same time. Then she told me, "I woke up and realized I wasn't where I wanted to be and so I fixed it."
She kissed me again and lay down next to me, but then I woke up again and watched as she kinda dematerialized. I could still see her, but she was transparent and shimmery and such and then she was gone. I startled awake and she was behind me, saying something about making breakfast. Then I actually woke up.

It was a very odd little dream. The next day, Mom found pictures she had taken of Brit and Acacia and had them printed up for Acacia's album. She knew Acacia would love them, but asked me first if it was okay. Then, for the past two days, she's either made herself visible, unblocked Russell and I or just started using her YIM again. Which ever, I am not really sure as she hasn't messaged either of us or anything. All in all, I hadn't really thought much at all about her since Ryan and I got involved, not seriously anyways. I'm not sure why all of a sudden she keeps popping up.

Don't get me wrong. I still love her and she will always be my one. It just seems odd that she's coming up lately for no apparent reason.

In other news, when I told Russ I had bronchitis, Patrick overheard and got all excited, "You got a dinosaur in your throat?!"

The past few weeks have been a real eye-opening experience, or rather an eye-opening collection of experiences. I've learned a bit that I always "knew" but never really put much faith in. There are good, honest people out there. There are people who can make you feel like a million bucks without ever being dishonest, without hiding parts of themselves or their lives. There are people who can be all this and still be exciting, both in personality and in bed. I never had to settle for anything less. I never ought settle for anything less again.

Something else I've also come to learn, my husband, like me, has made a lot of mistakes, but he's one of those good people now. He is putting his all into being a good husband and a good father and he is a good man. He should never settle for anything less and I hope to whatever powers might be listening, that he doesn't. He deserves someone who will be good to him, make him feel like he's a fantastic person, be honest and open with him and be good in bed too. (If she wants to share some of that awesome in bed time with me, that'd be an added bonus, though certainly not a prerequisite.) He deserves all this and more and so do I.

I am so, so grateful to have found this and I refuse to ever settle again because I've known how good life can be and I can see it getting better all the time.

I can't feel half my face and oddly enough that is an improvement over last night. So, my birthday got off to a great start. I have a tooth that needs to come out or have a root canal and no time in which to do this. I missed a day of clinical and need to make it up now because the night before last I was in the ER til 4 am and got a shot of dilaudid that had me still loopy by the time I was supposed to be working. I'm still needing way more medicine than I am happy with to keep the pain under control but I should be alright working today since most of it is just numbing and NSAIDs (as opposed to the narcotics.) Hopefully I can get in to see a dentist either tomorrow afternoon or over the weekend. Some dentists do weekend hours and Manda found one who not only does that but will work a discount for uninsured (I have insurance but my dental coverage is next to nothing T_T) Mom also said Mandy had found one who would do the work and just charge the insurance for what it would cover. Either way it would be awesome to get this done soon.

On a more positive note, Russ has off today and Christine and Ryan and maybe Mara are coming over. Yay happy birthday party.

I'm going to try and get a quick shower in before work now. Later.

I am absolutely exhausted, 100% beat and thrilled. I got 4 sticks on my first day. I'd have got a fifth, but the women they gave me had no veins. Even the preceptor who had been working for 15 years failed trying to stick her twice. I called it too.

I win.

for a little while now, I've had filters set up to make reading my friends' list (and skipping over communities when I'm too busy) much more manageable. However, I find myself considering using the filter system for posting again. I won't use an adult-content filter, as I have my whole journal set to that, but I was thinking of making a meta filter. Anyone who wants on, let me know.